Gawain's Looking Sharp!

In the beginning of Part 2, Gawain is preparing for his journey to take the Green Knight up on his challenge. It does seem improbable that one could withstand the axe the same way the Green Knight did....even Gawain. Starting at paragraph 4 (line 566) the poet describes Gawain's armor and dressings in great detail. He even goes into much detail about the "fancy hood" and "Turkish silk" that Gawain was wearing. For example some detail that is given about Gawain's horse after his steel armor was laid out. The amount of detail is enormous and the fact that the author would even describe his horse is indicative of something greater. This seems to be done purposefully to set Gawain up the same way the Green Knight's entrance was described, bold and dramatic. Also by describing his armor in such a detailed way one would expect him to be able to survive any blow that the Green Knight may lay on him.

Sir Gawain and that Other Weird Knight

Stanza 5 of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight provides one of the most detailed descriptions of Arthur to date. As the title suggests the epic poem focuses on Arthur's cousin, Gawain; however, the first five lines of the fifth stanza provide some of Arthur's important character traits. To this point in the semester our readings have either depicted Arthur as an all great and powerful King or have provided no personality traits whatsoever. These lines stood out to me because finally Arthur is attributed with having two flaws: his youth and flair for grandeur. These lines also foreshadow Arthur’s decision to allow Gawain to be the knight to face the Green Knight. This is evidenced by “his young blood and restless brain kept him busy” (89). Because of his age he is not fully considering the consequences of sending Gawain on this mission. Later in stanza 16 Gawain plainly states that facing the knight is essentially a death sentence, but the naive Arthur does not fully consider this when consenting to Gawain’s request. Despite his folly, I personally appreciate Arthur's faults because for once he seems to be a real figure, rather than a mythological one. This reading, in contrast to the previous ones, has a tone of honesty. The epic possesses the same fantastic qualities of the past texts; however, the speaker’s tone has a note of self mockery which makes it more believable. My favorite line of the epic so far is 239 when the speaker states, “for they'd witnessed a lot of weird things, but never one like this.” The speaker exactly captures exactly my sentiments.

The day my life changed (help)

All my life I've been told that I'm weak and feeble, and my only claim to fame is that I'm related by blood to Arthur. However, that all changed one New Year's Day.

It started off as a normal Christmastime party, ya know, one of those short-lasting parties, the ones that only last fifteen days. We ate never-ending good food, got some crazy expensive gifts from my cousin Arthur, and marveled at how amazing his court is, and how it must truly be the best court in the entire world. The queen was even seen partying all night, but soon enough, the time once again came for us to eat food. Strangely, Arthur has been going through this weird phase, where he refuses to eat until he hears something adventurous or miraculous. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to wait much longer.

This knight burst through through the front door, and before we knew it, he was right in front of us. Everything about him was green, even his skin color! He also had this gorgeous mantle (wink wink nudge nudge) on him, and there was enough gold on him that even one piece could afford a year's worth of Arthur's expensive gifts! He then asked to see Arthur, and this is when things got hairy.

The guy literally said he wants one of us to attack him with his battleaxe, and if he lives, we'll have to allow him to attack US with his ax one year from now. No thanks, I like my head! I said nothing, and when I saw Arthur get embarrassed over our silence, I immediately knew what to do. This was my chance!

I quickly stood up and said, "Arthur, let me do this instead!" I then rambled on some nonsense about how amazing he is to get his approval, and I then started self-defeating myself in order to seal the deal. It worked! Arthur handed me the ax, and the green knight gave me a good opening to the flesh on his neck.

This is everything I've always wanted!

I gleefully swung the ax at his neck, and the knight's head came right off. I was so happy, and the party members nearby even began to play soccer with the fallen head! Just my luck though, the headless green knight walked over, picked up his head, and told me to meet him at his house a year from today.

Help.

Schrodinger’s Arthur

What Really Happened During Merlin's Personal Retreats

So I have a personal secret I need to share. My name is Damien and I too am born of the Devil, just as Merlin was. The only thing is, I didn’t have a super religious mother so I can only see everything that is in the past, thanks Mom. Anyways, I feel compelled to fill in some of the gaps when it comes to literature about Merlin. I remember the aggregate of Merlin’s existence in this life and it is completely different to how he actually was. First off, the dude knew everything and it was because of this reason that he was always SO bored! It was hard for him to gain pleasure from much knowing the out come of every battle, any contest, or what he would even eat for dinner. He would even know things like how he was going to break the yoke trying to make an omelet the following morning. As Merlin grew older he would use his knowledge in different ways. He was always a weird dude to everyone else, so in order to do whatever he wanted he needed to go off by himself for long periods of time.  Merlin would do two things on these retreats, one thing he would do is meditate for immense periods of time. To Merlin, since he knew everything that would happen, he thought the time period he was born into was the real cause of his boredom. So he would meditate on future episodes of Breaking Bad, Iron Chef, and his favorite…..Washington Wizards basketball. At every retreat there was a full NBA sized court that he has created (and destroyed). This was his second favorite thing to do; he loved to play basketball to stay in shape. Every retreat would end after a closed eye one on one with Michael Jordan. Every victory would conclude the personal retreat and signify his return back into everyday life, listening to people prod him about their own boring deaths. Wizards just wanna have fun.

Infant Grown Man

On pg. 328 when Merlin's mother was weeping to him about how she was doomed to die was very powerful and I felt truly saddened by her ordeal... until Merlin, WHO IS ONLY 9 MONTHS OLD, had this to say to reassure his mother. "Dear mother, do not be afraid; you will never die on my account." 

Merlin's mom reaction: 

Beating Merlin At His Own Game

Beating Merlin At His Own Game

I hate him. I hate him so much I want him dead. Merlin is one of the most powerful demonic humanoid I have ever known. Actually, the only demonic humanoid I have ever known. And yet, he is still a pig! He only likes me because of my virginity and it’s disgusting! I tried contacting my father to help me get away from him and stupid me trying to be nice asked Merlin to come with me. I didn’t think he’d actually say yes! Oh God what have gotten myself into?

There is however, a trick I can do. I mean I’m cunning, clever, beautiful, and a woman. All I have to do is outsmart him. He’s teaching me his spells, I doubt he’d be smart enough to see that I’d be using them AGAINST him. Oh, but he can see into the future, and maybe he could see right through me straight to the burning hatred that I have for him. But I’d doubt it. He’s so “head over heels in love with me” he’d never suspect a thing. He keeps telling me these ridiculous stories and even when I tried to ditch him by asking him to build me an impossible house he somehow managed it and hid it from the entire world. How I wish he would just die and leave me forever. Maybe I could just ditch him somewhere and hope to never see him again.

Update: I may get my wish after all.

Merlin the Wise, the Powerful, the... Pedophile?

The Prose Merlin revealed a lot of things about Merlin that I can honestly say I had never heard before. My knowledge of him up until this point was that Merlin was the ultimate wizard; one of the most powerful magicians that ever lived, to the point where he's usually an important and extremely powerful historical figure in a great deal of franchises that have anything to do with fantasy and magic, (Ex: Harry Potter, Dresden Files, Magic Tree House, etc.) and that he served as a key advisor to King Arthur. What I certainly didn't know was that he was born from demons, was as smart as an adult in his infancy, and that he was a pedophile.

In truth, there's no other word for his love for the Lady of the Lake. It is stated at one point in the prose that she's only 15 years old; and while Merlin's age is never directly stated- save at the beginning of the tale, when he's a mere baby- considering the fact that his unrequited love affair with the Lady occurred relatively close to his death, and the typical depiction of Merlin in his prime is that of a wizened, graying, bearded old man, it can be assumed Merlin was greatly her senior. Add in the fact that it's very strongly implied that Merlin is only attracted to her by physical lust- due to the many mentions of his urge to have sex with her- rather than romantic love, and his 'feelings' for her become even more unsettling. It kind of ruins the entire image of Merlin for me, truthfully; like yeah cool he's a virtually omniscient wizard, but he's a pedophile. Honestly I don't blame Vivianne for sealing him in that tomb; glad he didn't get to have his way with her.

PICTURED: Merlin, pulling up in his magical white van

to take the Lady of the Lake to Arthur's palace.