It started off as a normal Christmastime party, ya know, one of those short-lasting parties, the ones that only last fifteen days. We ate never-ending good food, got some crazy expensive gifts from my cousin Arthur, and marveled at how amazing his court is, and how it must truly be the best court in the entire world. The queen was even seen partying all night, but soon enough, the time once again came for us to eat food. Strangely, Arthur has been going through this weird phase, where he refuses to eat until he hears something adventurous or miraculous. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to wait much longer.
This knight burst through through the front door, and before we knew it, he was right in front of us. Everything about him was green, even his skin color! He also had this gorgeous mantle (wink wink nudge nudge) on him, and there was enough gold on him that even one piece could afford a year's worth of Arthur's expensive gifts! He then asked to see Arthur, and this is when things got hairy.
The guy literally said he wants one of us to attack him with his battleaxe, and if he lives, we'll have to allow him to attack US with his ax one year from now. No thanks, I like my head! I said nothing, and when I saw Arthur get embarrassed over our silence, I immediately knew what to do. This was my chance!
I quickly stood up and said, "Arthur, let me do this instead!" I then rambled on some nonsense about how amazing he is to get his approval, and I then started self-defeating myself in order to seal the deal. It worked! Arthur handed me the ax, and the green knight gave me a good opening to the flesh on his neck.
This is everything I've always wanted!
I gleefully swung the ax at his neck, and the knight's head came right off. I was so happy, and the party members nearby even began to play soccer with the fallen head! Just my luck though, the headless green knight walked over, picked up his head, and told me to meet him at his house a year from today.
Help.
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