King Arthur's Personal Theme Song

  No one can ever put their finger on the exact origin, but this song is consistently heard playing softly in the background whereever Will is spotted.  Little known fact, but I heard he was also the Karate Kid in a past generation.

Heroes Get Remembered, but Legends Never Die

By this definition, King Arthur is a legend. Texts like Avalon High prove that though King Arthur stands on his own, the way authors and storytellers continue to adapt the story perpetuate the tale in new ways. Mr. Morton/The Order of the Bear/Professors Harrison help demonstrate this point; Meg Cabot chose not to simply tell the story of King Arthur, but transform it into a Christ-like tale of resurrection, using Will as the hero of the world to save humanity the way Arthur did. With a sprinkle of cheesy teenage love. 

With this kind of story, it allows the story of Arthur to take on new life and evolve in a way that wouldn't be possible with a simple regurgitation of the legend. Through a teenage girl discovering the similarities of her high school crush to the great King Arthur, the story has now evolved into a modern tale that uses the original as a stepping stone. Without competing with the legend, stories like this one play with the idea of expanding. By taking the impressions left by the legend and creating something new, Cabot is taking the potential of expanding the legend and allowing it to flourish for a new audience. In this way, Arthur is no longer a hero, because he is not simply being remembered. He is a legend because he can't die with the, in this case literal, rebirth. 

The Great Mist

How does this whole system work with the God vs many god(s/esses) work?  Are these roman dieties or some other ancient beings? And where is Avalon relative to Britany?

Mists of Avalon

I don't believe this passage is necessarily a feminist approach to this story. The emphasis on masculinity and the need for a God to match her Goddess (she really says this) is inescapable.  Lancelot proves himself to be the man's man when he says a few times that he "has lived in a world where men do not wait for a woman's bidding" (146). Morgaine exerts a lot of energy admiring Lancelot's physical appearance, and is heavily influenced by the way she feels when she's near him. Starting at their first interaction, her obsession with his outward appearance is perpetuated throughout the passage; on page 147 she spends almost an the page admiring every detail of his physique. She likes that his look is not androgynous, but especially manly like a "stag," and comments that she had "never seen such a masculine creature before" (147). This fixation on his appearance is especially annoying compared to Morgaine's own desire for Lancelot to see her inner beauty when she apparently sees only his surface level.

The physical attraction is noteworthy, but what really makes me doubt the woman-power in this passage is the fact that Morgaine says she has never felt happiness before Lancelot. She feels validated because “he desired her...his love and respect for her were so great that he would even hold his own desire within bounds” (154). So now we’re impressed that he's not pushing sex on her? Cmon. And let’s just take a moment to consider the phallic implications of Lancelot saying the only god he worships is his “sword” (140). Lancelot seems to quickly shift gears, and Morgaine feels a burning hatred for young Gwenhwyfar, concluding with what I think might be a redeeming moment (maybe just a petty one) as Morgaine leaves him to find his own way back.

The Lady of Shalott knows nature is worth it.

The Lady of Shalott

I think that this poem is very routed in the appreciation of nature.  While broken into four parts, the poem features illustrious imagry of the beauty of nature. The Lady of the Shalott, follows the tale of a poor girl, who was cursed to suffer a fate worse than death.  She is forced to never look outside of her castle on Shalott Island.  Although, she has grown tired of her current life, it takes a visit from the mighty Lancelot to really free her.  When she finally gazes upon the outside world, it is by her own choice, and she accepts that it will be her demise.  This connects to a much larger theme that knights, along with regular people, aren't meant to be souped up.  I think this poem has a very important message. People are meant to venture into the wilderness, and love it.   

The Lady of Shalott

Tennyson tells a tragic tale of disappointment in The Lady of Shalott. This near-mythical woman is cursed to a very minimalist, monotonous life, but "she knows not what the curse may be" (42) should she leave. Tennyson shows through the poem that the Lady is waiting for true love, evidenced when he mentions that she "hath no loyal knight and true" (62), and again when she sees the newlywed lovers and proclaims "'I am half sick of shadows'" (71). So, did Lancelot inspire her to leave the island (and potentially ruin/lose her life), or was she just waiting for someone to give her that nudge? Lancelot says in Malory's text "God knows that I did not intentionally lead her to this....alas! she loved too much" (471), but I'm not sure if the same can be said for the Lady in Tennyson's poem.

The "Ask Arthur" Column

In this week's column, the noble King Arthur will answer your burning questions! All anonymous all the time. 

Dear Arthur,

My son was conceived out of wedlock with another man's wife before I married her after he died. A series of tricks and magic got me into her bedroom...I mean sure she thought I was her then-husband, but that's neither here nor there. Keep in mind that this was not my fault: my health was in danger! Should I tell my son about this weird conception? I can't say much more because I don't want you him to figure out who's writing. 

-Forlorn Father 

Dear Forlorn,

I'd say don't tell me him! Keep those lips sealed and let time wash away your misdoings. I know I'd never do something so impure and reprehensible, but alas, we can't all be me.

-King Arthur 

Dear Arthur, 

I'm extremely wise and magical - I'm, like, really smart. I became the wisest guy in all the land on my first try! Please blindly believe what I'm saying: I'm not crazy. Never been to a psychiatrist. I even had a good (great) meeting at the round table today! The mainstream media tries to discredit me, but trust me. Also I'm not hairy and never have been hairy. Now to my question...I've got a nubile, beautiful huntress lady friend, but I'm like *pretty* sure she hates me. All-knowing stuff aside, I can't see how exactly I'll die, but something tells me not to trust this pretty young thing. I give and I give and she just doesn't seem into me for some reason. She swats my hand away whenever I try to hold it. What should I do? I might die...but I really want to deflower her. 

-Mournful Magician

Dear Mournful,

We've all been there. Your question is valid. My advice is to trust your instincts! If you think this beautiful lady is too good to be true and you're as all-knowing as you say you are (and I'm inclined to believe you based on those credentials), run for the hills! Unless you think the sex is super worth it, in which case, what do you really have to lose?

-King Arthur

Arthur,

I've always been a little different from my peers. I'm guessing it's due to my skin (I'm green lol), or because of my tendency to go to parties asking for my head to be lobbed off. Here's the thing: I had my wife try to trick this guy, whose head I was about to chop, into sleeping with her, and he was supposed to say no (long story, don't ask, but this was the deciding factor on his head staying where heads belong). But he kissed her a few too many times if you ask me. Didn't sleep with her! Toed the line, was pretty cautious. Should I spare him? Did he find the loophole? 

-Not-so-jolly Green Giant

Dear Not-so-jolly,

I say let him live. Sounds like this guy was noble in the face of temptation. Maybe this could lead to a life-long friendship where the two of you chop heads and get chopped together? Sorry about the kissing though...maybe try a different plot next time.

-King Arthur 

That's all we've got for this week! Don't forget to write questions to your King for some royally insightful answers! 

Gawain the Good Guy

Gawain is faced with a woman who is throwing herself at him, but he remains "gracious--and also on his guard" (443). Clearly, Gawain is a good guy as he consistently toes the line between gracious and cautious. As the Green Knight confesses his plan, Gawain says on page 472:

"But it's no great wonder whenever a woman outwits 

A man and leads him away to mourning or to madness,

For Adam himself was led astray by a woman" (2414-2416). 

He lists other men who were misled by women, but why are women to blame in this case if the Green Knight literally just admitted that it was his own plan? I might be missing something, but it seems like Gawain is unfairly blaming the ladies for executing a plan that was conceived by a man. 

Sorry, Ma'am, but I'm not Gawain to sleep with you.

Dear diary, can I vent to you? Of course I can. You're a notebook I place emotional value in because you give me a medium to release stress, you aren't capable of judgement. Sorry, diary, but those are facts. Anyway, it's nothing too serious. It's just something that happened during my last quest. I do love quests, it's why I became a knight after all. Even better, it was basically a three day vacation.

While the knights and men of the kingdom went out on my hunt, I got to spend three days doing whatever I wanted. And what did I want? Peace and quiet. I surely didn't want to be propositioned for anonymous sex, I can tell you that much. It seems like everywhere I go women are just throwing themselves at me. Hello, does an oath of chastity mean anything these days? I guess that's what I get after volunteering to be in all those knight of the month calendars, but how could I pass up being Mr. December? There's no better Christmas present than these good looks, it's the gift that keeps on giving for Christ's sake! Shit. I'll have to confess that one.

So there I am on Monday morning. It's almost noon, who cares? I was sitting in bed not doing a damn thing when this woman walks in. She's gorgeous; tall, strawberry hair, most of her teeth and with breasts of the purest... rich like... uh... they were pretty cool. She was also the wife of one of the dear huntsmen. Great guy. She comes over and, without any small talk about the weather, immediately professes her lust for me and her desire to take me to the stables, sheath excalibur, other blatant sexual innuendos. What torture. Not only is she married to Robert, one of my high school rugby teammates, but she lusts for me. LUSTS.

You know me, diary, I'm not a lust guy. I'm love or nothing. Either way, she was determined. I was the great Gawain, after all; a man who's looks, courtship and virtue were known far and wide. I wish I was known for my interpretive dance, but sex appeal is good enough, I guess. It took me hours, but I was finally able to convince her that I was not worth the blemish on her marital vows. She had to have something, though, and before she got up, started to kiss me. I'm not proud of this, but I kissed her back, because what was I gonna do, not?

After that I get on with my very important and rudely interrupted plan to sit on my ass all day until dinner. Then, at night, the men get back, they throw me a feast, yadda, yadda, yadda. At least I was able to put off Bob's wife, right? Wrong. Each of the next two mornings she comes back into my room begging me yet again. Lady, if you're that pent up, just fantasize while reading 50 Shades or something, sheesh.

Luckily for me, I'm a master not only in swordplay, but wordplay. I'm not going to lie to you, diary, it wasn't easy. The third morning she went all out: a jeweled hairnet, her finest and most revealing gown, she was reading me like a book. Nonetheless, I was able to keep her at bay once again, though this time she demanded a three kisses and a gift. A gift? What do I look like, a Disney store? When I told her I had no gift that would match her value of grace, she was unbothered. First she tried to give me her ring. I declined partly because I'm not a huge ring guy and partly because I think Bob bought it for her. She wouldn't let me leave without anything, so she gave me her girdle. Weird gift, right? Well it gets even weirder. She says that it grants the power of immortality to the wearer. Now, I'm not usually one to trust the words of a scorned lover, but I'm also kinda in desperate need of some immortality, so I took it and went on my merry way, hunts haul by my side the very next morning. Worst comes to worst I can re-gift it, I guess.

Well, that's all I have, diary, thanks for listening. It's not like you really had a choice, what with being an inanimate organization of tree byproducts, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Gee, I really hope archeology isn't invented because I sure wouldn't want any sick future-perverts getting their hands on you and besmirching my good name.

It's Always Sunny in Camelot

As I was reading, this was how I envisioned the court every time a new woman would try on the mantle.

Full scene too, because come on.

 

Lancelot is Not a Bro

Lancelot, the Jim to Arthur's Roy, Mr. Steal-yo-girl, is just an all around pretty bad friend.  I can just see the Knight of the Cart bumping some Shaggy whenever the king grows suspicious of his queen and best friend.

The many sides of Arthur

Though it saddened the king, he entrusted her to Kay, for never was he known to break his word; but his anger and pain were written clearly upon his face.
(116)

I just love how each story so far has presented a new side to the legendary King Arthur!

Special Kay

As I was reading the story here was a quote that stood out to me:

"In desperation King Arthur went to his queen and asked, "My lady, have you no idea what the seneschal wants from me? He has asked for leave and says that he will quit my court. I don't know why. But what he wouldn't do for me, he'll do at once if you beg him. Go to him, my dear lady; though he deign not stay for my sake, pray him to stay for yours and fall at his feet if necessary, for I would never again be happy if I were to lose his company"" (115).


I found this quote to be very interesting because Arthur is practically telling his wife to plead to Kay to stay with his court and do anything he asks in order for him to stay. What I could gather from this is that Kay must've been a very important piece to Arthur's court for him to go to all these measures to ensure that he doesn't leave. But what I don't understand is that when Kay requests to leave with the queen to go after the knight in the forest, Arthur becomes salty even though he set himself up for something like this. Also for him to say he would never be happy again if Kay was to leave is very significant, their relationship must be very strong or they have built a strong bond throughout the years.

Kibler, William W. "Chretien de Troyes, Lancelot, Or The Knight Of The Cart." The Romance of Arthur, edited by Norris J. Lacy and James J. Wilhelm, Routledge, 2013, pp. 112-180.

Geoffrey of Monmouth or Lavar Ball's Role Model?

                                                                                                                  While I was reading this, I thought of Lavar Ball talking about himself, his kids, or the “Big Baller Brand.”  The introduction to this chapter does a great job of quickly detailing Geoffrey’s work in the History of the Kings of Britain, and how he weaved Arthur, Merlin, and the knights into the history of English kings.  Geoffrey knew his Norman audience had recently conquered the Saxons, and gave them an ancient hero who also bested them.  He created Arthur as this larger than life King, who could do almost anything, just like Lavar is trying to do with his business.  Geoffrey wrote Arthur into existence, like Lavar spoke his son onto the Lakers.

Arthur is The Man

In case the embedded vid doesn't work!

The common thread throughout Geoffrey of Monmouth's history of Arthur is that he is the capstone of kings: slaying giants, slicing heads in half, or just being a generous, religious monarch. Arthur is the best and brightest, and seems to think of himself as such. This song by The Killers seems to convey exactly what Geoffrey of Monmouth is trying to (if we take the lyrics as lyrics and ignore any social commentary). Arthur's carrying the crown, and nothing can bring him down.

Does the face of Camelot matter?

“For many, however, finding the historical Arthur can only diminish the legendary figure.  Whether a stoical Roman general or a beleaguered Celtic warlord, such a person will never compare to the noble king depicted by Geoffrey of Monmouth, by Malory, or even by T.H. White” (Snyder 16)

This quote reminded me of how George Washington, and how in just a couple of centuries there are already widespread myths and tall tales surrounding our most influential founding father.  Both Arthur and George were both supposed leaders of nations with iron-clad virtues.  I couldn't imagine weeding through the assorted tales of Arthur to find reality.

Speaking Something into Existence...on a Royal Level

"'Britain has kings,' writes Gildas, 'but they are tyrants'" quotes Snyder on page 70, in the second document (chapter four).

Stemming from this quote, I wonder whether this desire for better kings prompted the myth of an idealistic king from a "famous, devout military hero" (73), although he was "not himself a king" (77). The figure of a pious, successful knight would serve as a wonderful king, and even if he wasn't a king in actuality, that person seems to be the perfect fit for a legend. Given enough momentum and will power, I think it makes a lot of sense that King Arthur would just sort of...be created. I think it could also be propelled by, if I'm reading this correctly, the Tudors looking to tell people they were descended from the great King Arthur, and validating his existence even more. 

My question is: does it make sense that even though Arthur may not have been an actual king, he was spoken into existence through desperation and determination to have the ideal king in their history?