What Really Happened During Merlin's Personal Retreats

So I have a personal secret I need to share. My name is Damien and I too am born of the Devil, just as Merlin was. The only thing is, I didn’t have a super religious mother so I can only see everything that is in the past, thanks Mom. Anyways, I feel compelled to fill in some of the gaps when it comes to literature about Merlin. I remember the aggregate of Merlin’s existence in this life and it is completely different to how he actually was. First off, the dude knew everything and it was because of this reason that he was always SO bored! It was hard for him to gain pleasure from much knowing the out come of every battle, any contest, or what he would even eat for dinner. He would even know things like how he was going to break the yoke trying to make an omelet the following morning. As Merlin grew older he would use his knowledge in different ways. He was always a weird dude to everyone else, so in order to do whatever he wanted he needed to go off by himself for long periods of time.  Merlin would do two things on these retreats, one thing he would do is meditate for immense periods of time. To Merlin, since he knew everything that would happen, he thought the time period he was born into was the real cause of his boredom. So he would meditate on future episodes of Breaking Bad, Iron Chef, and his favorite…..Washington Wizards basketball. At every retreat there was a full NBA sized court that he has created (and destroyed). This was his second favorite thing to do; he loved to play basketball to stay in shape. Every retreat would end after a closed eye one on one with Michael Jordan. Every victory would conclude the personal retreat and signify his return back into everyday life, listening to people prod him about their own boring deaths. Wizards just wanna have fun.