Mrs. Galahad

Dear diary,

I still can't believe it. My mind is moving a thousand miles an hour. I can't even control my thoughts. There is just so much going on in my head, and it's all about him. That was really him, just standing there right in front of me. And what did I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. "Never lay hands upon an outsider, a priestess of Avalon must be even as a visitor from the otherworld." Thats what the old priestess always said. But that's so stupid. I haven't seen him in forever and now he was right there in front of me and all I wanted to do was to just reach out for him and hug him and tell him how much I had missed him. But I couldn't. These rules freaking suck. The boy I haven't seen since we were 12 is now all grown, and damn is he grown.  His muscles are so big, oh what I would have given for them to be around me right now. I wonder what he was thinking in that moment. He probably thought how weird I was, standing stiff as a board while he was all relaxed. Oh he will never like me the same way that I like him. But, maybe he didn't maybe he thought I was beautiful. And maybe it was his training that stopped us from embracing and feeling that spark that I know is there. I just know it is. He remembered me that has to mean something, right? That has to mean that he has been thinking about me too. I hope I will see him again soon. Maybe he will hug me. Maybe he will kiss me. Maybe he will ask me to be his. Maybe I'll get to be Mrs. Galahad. Ugh, why is life so hard?