"How about you go do your job and interview the actual candidate?" Merlin rudely replied, as he heard a loud "HUUUUUUUU" nearby. He then walked up to Gwen, who pulled off another "HUUUUUUU."
"What do you want?"
"HUUU - oh, hey Merlin. Man, pulling off a press conference sure makes one exhausted! But you know me, I'm like the backbone of this entire campaign. I'm just doing my part; no need to thank me!"
"K bye," Merlin said, walking to the podium as Arthur made his way there.
"You don't have to be such a jacka -AAGHH!" Gwen screamed as she got shoved to the floor by the running reporters who wanted to catch a glimpse of Arthur.
Arthur got the microphone and began to speak. "Hey y'all, I'm Arthur Penn, and I'm running for mayor. I'll now take your questions."
One reporter spoke, "that was a short intro, but anyways, your Democratic and Republican opponents all have political experience, while you have absolutely zero. Do you think this is a bad thing?"
"If a man with no political experience could become president, then surely I can become mayor?"
"I, um -"
"Next question!"
"How do you feel about gun control, specifically a ban on assault weapons and bump stocks?"
"Ah, gun control. Who cares about that? Everyone should just get their own sword; it'll solve this entire issue. Why, I once happened to have my own sword, but I lost it when my deep-sea fishing trip went horribly wrong. Memories... where was I? Next question!"
"How do you feel about abortion?"
"I support it 100%! If abortion was a thing back in the day, I wouldn't be in this mess! Mordred would never have been born, and Camelot... would... never have fallen..." Arthur began to look visibly distraught, and then said "no more questions!" before running offstage crying.
No comments:
Post a Comment